Who left you the bumblebee-Pooh, Sweet?

Christmas is coming up... merry xmas Sweet.

1st Anniversary

Strange. When I think of the word "anniversary", I associate it with "happy anniversary" or "anniversary celebrations".

But not all anniversaries are happy; and there are some anniversaries that are not meant to be celebrated.

This is obviously in that category.

Sweet,
It's been a year, one full year. How are you?
Mummy loves you... Mummy misses you.

Daddy, mummy and jie jie visited you today, did you see us? Did you hear us? Did you feel our kisses? Did you "taste" the "porridge" that your sis "cooked" for you and fed you? She was so happy when she heard, in the car, that we are going to visit "di di".

Your jie jie Ashley is now a big girl. She loves babies; she would have loved having you around, she would have taken good care of you like a proper 'big sister', you should have seen how she lovingly cradles and rocks her uwah-uwah (doll) and sometimes Piglet. Though the next moment she would ruthlessly abandon her poor doll as she focuses on something else, but that's another story -- can't be helped lah, short attention span... You know that sister of yours...

You take good care of yourself ok? I know that's somewhat a tall order for a 5-and-a-half month wee baby... Mummy hopes someone is watching over you.

Love you. Remembering you. Everyday.

Family Portrait

I think we haven't had a family portrait taken for a long time. This came out very nicely (thanks for your camera Mindy). We are pretty well color-coordinated, I must say, without prior arrangement. It took Ashley some effort to maintain that victory sign; it usually becomes a hand sign of "3" rather than "2" for "V".


Three Generations


And this one is of the girls...

For the record, these were taken at Rachel's wedding on 10 May 2008.

Happy 1st Birthday, Sweet

Happy b'day to you
Happy b'day to you
Happy b'day my sweet sweet
Happy 1st b'day baby ethan.

Got you a new hippo to sing for you...
Jie Jie gave you her silver "woo-woo-fly" with gold star... [ashley language "woo-woo-fly"=balloon]
How are you my baby?

Love you, miss you immensely.

xoxo
Mummy, Daddy, jie jie Ashley

100 Days Since

Today is the 100th day.

His First Christmas

Searched many places for an appropriate size xmas stocking, but had no luck... the stockings are all those big long ones, some 50-60cm long, too big. Was going to just make do with the santa and reindeer hanging ornaments, until the Saturday before Christmas, I finally found the perfect size xmas stocking for Dopey!

Look, Sweet, do you like your green little xmas stocking?


Saturday 22 Dec was also 49 days of his passing, a significant day according to Chinese customs. The whole family went down early morning. Since Christmas was near, got him a slice of swissroll, and placed the marzipan santa & xmas tree figurine I saved from an office log cake, added red & green jellies (xmas colors!) and candy canes, and viola, lovely xmas party food. Not forgetting a baby-sized malt soy drink.

Merry 1st Christmas, Sweet.

I know you've been a good boy... in fact you've been the most awesome, fabulous, wonderful, lovely, amazing, fantastic little boy. Love you lots. Remember the Christmas songs mummy sang you?

Thank You, & Remembering that Little Guy

Finally gotten around to writing and mailing out Thank You cards to T, Dr C, and the hospital staff last week. Some of them have taken care of Ethan throughout his stay, following him as he was transferred from one ward to the other; while others like the Ward nurses and certain docs have looked after him for certain stretches. We didn't have the chance to thank all whom we wanted to thank properly, and some of them may not know that Ethan has passed on since. Hence the cards.

As for friends & family, we thank you for your many prayers, concern and comforting words, and by letting us know that you are there for us. We will be all right, life will go on. Ashley is a big help in taking our minds off unhappy memories, she is the delightful cause of our smiles and laughter.

No matter what, I am grateful for the privilege to have known, held, and cared for my sweet baby Jay-En aka Ethan, even if it was for such a short while. He was most amazing, had been and will be dearly loved, and will be sorely missed.

Hopefully when Ashley is much older and begins to understand the concept of life and death, we will tell her about her wonderful baby brother. For now, he is just a baby whose photo is on mummy's phone, whom she refers to as "woo-wah woo-wah" (as she refers to all babies, mimicking their cry. I personally would go for "ong-ngeh ong-ngeh", don't know where she pick up her signature "woo-wah woo-wah" from...).

For those who didn't have the chance to know that little guy, here are some photos and videos of him. Preciously few, sad to say, and most taken in the hospital. But we do have those of him laughing and smiling, taken on his better days. For that, I am grateful.




[more coming soon]